As another Christmas pulls around our corner bringing all the jolly goodness of the season, it also brings along the time of refection. The end of another year is looming close and it’s the time to wonder if we did the best we could, if we loved as hard as we should and if we appreciated all the love and kindness surrounding us. As time goes by the older ones are passing away and our Christmas is changing, but are we keeping the spirit and the traditions alive or are we getting so caught up in the commercialism of the season that we are forgetting what Christmas is really about?

I read once that when you get older you won’t remember the gifts you got at five years or ten years old, but you will remember the feelings you had around the holidays, the family warmth and the smell of the elders making their fruit cakes, pastelles and baking bread. I realize now that this is so true.

This year, my family lost its matriarch: My beloved grandmother passed on and I must say it changed everything in my world. She was the last elder in our family, the glue that held us all together and now without her the holidays feel very different.

Our last Christmas with my grandmother

As much as I miss her, I am committed to keeping her spirit alive, during the holidays and always. You see, for my grandmother and many other elders, family was everything. The greatest joy in her life was seeing all of us coming together and spending those moments making memories that she knew we would keep forever. She also knew what we needed. It was not expensive gifts and gadgets, but rather a safe and wholesome family that we could depend on throughout this life. Thanks to my grandparents, we’re a close-knit bunch that love and appreciate one another.

The question is: How many of us are keeping these traditions alive? It seems that as we advance in the world, everything gets more and more commercial every year. We are all so absorbed in the buying and spending that we are getting further and further away from the true meaning of Christmas. As a child, some of my best memories are of my grandmother and her extensive cooking routines around this time of year. I remember my cousins and I helping to grind fruit to make fruit cake and grate cassava to make pone. I remember always getting home made bread on Christmas Eve with her tasty baked chicken. It may be different for everyone as each family has its own traditions, but, are we keeping the traditions alive?

These days, everything is store bought, including the fruit cake and the bread. Life has gotten so busy that it’s not easy to slow down. The work life balance is surely out of balance for most of us. Most parents are working around the clock just to provide for their families, so keeping the family traditions alive may prove challenging to most. But if this generation does not try to keep some of them alive, what will our children remember when they get older and how will we keep the legacy of those gone alive?

Maybe it’s time to remember that Christmas isn’t about the gifts or the over-indulgence of riches. It’s about the togetherness. It’s about the time that we give one another, for time is the greatest gift we can give. Time is irreplaceable and once it’s gone, we can never get it back.

This year there will be an empty chair at my table on Christmas Eve. She will no longer be there to tell me how good my food tastes or how pretty my tree looks. She is forever gone and I will miss her more than any words can say. But I know for sure now that what I read is true, for I don’t remember what my last present from her was, but I remember the love and I remember the warmth of her hands when she would hold mine. I am honoured that I got to spend so much time with her as she passed through this world and that she was part of my family. I am lucky that I can cook some of her recipes for my children, and even though my homemade bread will never be like hers, I will keep trying.

So this year, if you’re still fortunate enough to have the ones that make the family traditions come alive, cherish them and hold them as close as you can. If they have already passed on, try to make the effort to keep their spirit alive, especially for your children. It is their legacy and I promise as they grow up, they will cherish those memories more than the latest video game or brand name shoes. Traditions last a lifetime and that’s what will keep the magic of Christmas alive for us all.